Suicide: Father says he underestimated his daughter’s mental health

A father said his 24-year-old daughter’s suicide struck him as a “serious accusation” that “took things in ways that are hard to explain”.

A year on from Rhiannon’s death, Gareth Williams wants other parents to know how “very dangerous” mental health is.

Latest figures show the suicide rate in Wales in 2023 was the highest for ten years, at an average of one person a day.

Mr Williams’ comments come as a Welsh Government-backed service has been rolled out across Wales to support those affected by suicide.

Mr Williams said he hoped Rhiannon’s anxiety and depression could be resolved with time, counseling and GP support, but said it was something he had “completely dismissed”.

“When you live with someone you don’t notice these incremental changes. One of the things we regret is why didn’t we see this?” said the 60-year-old lawyer from Swansea.

“People say ‘it’s not your fault’ but you will always carry that as a parent.”

Rhiannon was studying for a master’s degree in creative writing in London – she has been very successful and has won many awards and prizes for her writing – but her parents say she suddenly left London to return home. .

He was receiving professional support for his mental health but his family had noticed a deterioration in the months before his death.

However, Mr Williams and his wife Rachael later discovered details in Rhiannon’s private diary which detailed the websites she had used to carefully plan her suicide.

It is a process that is being investigated ahead of a future study, but has left Mr Williams worried that even his daughter’s bedroom could be a “dangerous place” where her parents had no power to control. control what their eldest daughter was doing online.

The couple and Rhiannon’s two siblings were supported by Jack Lewis Foundationa charity commissioned by the Welsh government to run the new national advice service.

Mr Williams described the counseling as helping “the feelings of guilt which I think are stronger for this type of bereavement than others”.

“I call it a deep charge, because it’s so secret – like it’s underwater.

“But you just have to reset and look at the positives. As parents we are very aware that we have to make sure that our two sons know that life goes on.”

Gwyn Augustus is the chief liaison officer for the new national advisory service and said that for every person who commits suicide they usually collect between six and 10 for people who may need support.

Soon, free counseling is available if needed, as well as play therapy for children – as research has shown adults who have died by suicide are at a higher risk of attempting suicide.

“If we can save someone’s life during the project it would be good, but so far I am sure that we have done that,” said Mr. Augustus.

“It has been said many times that we have contacted people who were very upset and were thinking of doing something.

“Being able to step in at those critical times is critical to their health.”

Scott Lever helps some of the groups run by the Jac Lewis Foundation in Swansea. He became a counselor after losing his father to suicide in 2014.

“There’s a huge stigma around suicide that people don’t talk about – people don’t know how to talk about it, and that can create barriers to getting support,” she said.

“But in group meetings you can see people almost ‘decompress’ when they realize that other people have similar feelings and experiences.”

He said that having such an atmosphere of “authenticity” in the room can help people “remove” what they are really feeling.

“To see how this service is changing the way people are supported… I’m proud to be a part of that because it’s something I realize I needed at the time.”

The suicide rate was highest for men in their late 40s and for women under 50.

The Welsh Government is due to launch its revamped strategy to prevent suicide and self-harm by the end of the year.

Since its launch in December 2022, the NHS Wales 111 edition 2 service, which provides immediate mental health support, has handled more than 116,000 calls.

Mental health and early years minister Sarah Murphy says the growing suicide rate in Wales needs to come down and says prevention is key.

“Hearing that four-year-olds are getting counseling for as long as they need — playing and music therapy — I think that’s a big part of breaking through that traumatic time,” she said.

“We want to ensure that all those affected get timely, sensitive and effective support where they need it.

“With the continued development and implementation of our suicide and self-harm prevention strategy we will explore what more can be done to prevent suicide in Wales.”

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